Homesick, very homesick.

 

If you are here, I miss you. If you're here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

If you are here, I miss you. If you’re here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

It’s hard for me to be here in Duma.

It’s terribly hard to feel like I belong anywhere. I know I’ve only been here a little over two weeks but.. ah. I still can’t get into the rhythm of things.

I’m slowly adapting to law school and the amount of work that needs to be done.

But other than that I think I’m not doing very well.

After class today some of my classmates and I ate out at Qyosko. We sat at a long table, and naturally either end would have their own conversation.

It’s really hard, being stuck in the middle of a table where everyone speaks a different language and you can barely understand any of them. And if you want to contribute to the conversation, even if you find the words to express them you still just.. can’t. You just can’t.

Awww shoot, now I’m tearing up.. Ugh.

I miss being in Manila. I miss the malls, I miss the familiar places and faces, and I miss my friends. I really miss them. I had already found my place, my comfort zone.. Here, I really feel like an outsider. It’s like when I studied here for 1st year high school.. I never felt like I belonged.

I know a fresh start is supposed to be good.. but it’s horrible, having to start from scratch. It’s as if you need to re-learn every single thing that you were already accustomed to where you came from.

Aaaaand now I’m legit crying. Damn. Haven’t cried like this in a while..

I miss all my friends so much..

I miss Manila so much..

I miss home so much..

I really wish I was back home. My heart really seems to have been left behind there.

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you're here more than once then I really miss you..

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you’re here more than once then I really miss you..

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Yesterday with a hint of today.

Boarding gates.

Boarding gates.

Airplane selca!

Airplane selca!

Lucille and Matthew.

Lucille and Matthew.

So I’ve decided to make a blog again. Like, not just a photo-posting blog. (I use my Instagram for that, hahaha.) I’ll still be accompanying my posts with photos, though.

Yesterday, I bid goodbye to Manila as I, along with my younger sister and nephew, boarded a plane to Dumaguete City. They had already been studying there for the previous schoolyear, and as for me.. I’ve decided to take up law school.

In all honesty, it was my dad who pushed me to take it up. I mean.. he wants someone to follow in his footsteps as a lawyer. Meanwhile, I had always thought about it, but the amount of required readings and concepts to digest and understand are nothing short of intimidating. So I tucked those thoughts away for the longest time until my dad came up with a compromise – take one year of law school, then at the end of that one year it is up to me if I am to pursue it or stop. But then again.. an opportunity like this doesn’t come very often. It would be a waste to just halt studies, if by chance I end up doing pretty well in my first year.

I’ve always been quite an indecisive person who doesn’t really know what she wants in life. Maybe this’ll give me a sense of direction. Maybe I’ll actually like learning about the law. And maybe a change of location, a change of pace will do me some good. Hmmmm.

When we landed yesterday in Dumaguete, I admit it felt like a whole new world to me. It really dawned that I would be staying here for the next few months, or years if you don’t count coming back home to Manila for vacation. I do have a lot of family here, but no friends. It’s a fresh start. But then again, sometimes fresh starts can be absolutely terrifying.

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