Homesick again, among other things.

It feels like ages since I’ve made a proper blog post, but from what happened last night, I think it’s time for a little catharsis.

After yesterday’s class (Wednesday is the most stressful day for us JD-I students, because it’s when we have our most stressful classes – Criminal Law, and Statutory Construction. For StatCon, our section was split into two, and the Section B.. let’s just say we’re not too fond of our professor but we try to stick it out anyway for grades’ sake.), some of my classmates and I headed out to El Amigo since it was a classmate’s birthday (hi, Lala!) and she treated us to drinks. After some of our companions had left, there were only around 6 of us who stayed and chatted. I just pretty much kept quiet and drank quietly while listening to the conversations.

All of a sudden, one of them looked at me and said that I’m not being spontaneous.
Another one chimed in and said that I wasn’t the same Yani that I was before.

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Homesick, very homesick.

 

If you are here, I miss you. If you're here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

If you are here, I miss you. If you’re here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

It’s hard for me to be here in Duma.

It’s terribly hard to feel like I belong anywhere. I know I’ve only been here a little over two weeks but.. ah. I still can’t get into the rhythm of things.

I’m slowly adapting to law school and the amount of work that needs to be done.

But other than that I think I’m not doing very well.

After class today some of my classmates and I ate out at Qyosko. We sat at a long table, and naturally either end would have their own conversation.

It’s really hard, being stuck in the middle of a table where everyone speaks a different language and you can barely understand any of them. And if you want to contribute to the conversation, even if you find the words to express them you still just.. can’t. You just can’t.

Awww shoot, now I’m tearing up.. Ugh.

I miss being in Manila. I miss the malls, I miss the familiar places and faces, and I miss my friends. I really miss them. I had already found my place, my comfort zone.. Here, I really feel like an outsider. It’s like when I studied here for 1st year high school.. I never felt like I belonged.

I know a fresh start is supposed to be good.. but it’s horrible, having to start from scratch. It’s as if you need to re-learn every single thing that you were already accustomed to where you came from.

Aaaaand now I’m legit crying. Damn. Haven’t cried like this in a while..

I miss all my friends so much..

I miss Manila so much..

I miss home so much..

I really wish I was back home. My heart really seems to have been left behind there.

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you're here more than once then I really miss you..

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you’re here more than once then I really miss you..

A bit of free time.

I haven’t really had time to stay up and reflect on my days so far.. and yesterday’s holiday (Philippine Independence Day) was pretty much spent trying to read assigned cases, checking on my cargo to be shipped from Manila, and to go out with my nephew and buy his school supplies.

At least today, I do have some spare time to type something up on my laptop and not just type it on my smartphone.

It has been a little more than roughly a week and a half that I’ve been here in Dumaguete and I admit I’m still not really used to it.. hasn’t really sunk in that I’ll be here a while. Things just really are different here. The atmosphere is just so laid-back, very far from the hustle and bustle of Metro Manila. But then again there is a sense of urgency especially since I’m in law school. That, you can’t just happily coast along. You really have to do your best lest you get left behind.. and my classmates seem to really be good at this. I feel kind of left out because they actually do want to be here. As for me.. I’m more on here because I have a sense of obligation to my dad for this. I don’t really know what I want in life, but I do know that I want to sing. Haha. Well.. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get the hang of this someday.

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First Friday. (This post is to be updated throughout the day)

Most likely will be full of rants.

quarter to 10am – I woke up and saw the text from Ma’am Belen that said I qualified for SU Law School admission and I should get my permit to enroll processed at Hibbard Hall. Posted it on IG and on here.

1130am – Went to Hibbard Hall. Thought it would be simple but apparently I need to submit original copies of my requirements. Well shiiiiiiiiit. (Obvs made me pissed because I hate going around in hot weather because I have the wonderfully fortunate case of sweating very easily in wonderfully copious amounts of perspiration.) Then I also need to get a medical exam and tests done at SUMC. I thought you did that shit AFTER you did the paperwork. Ugh. What the hell.

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