At last, some free time.

I don’t really have a set format or theme for this post.. this will be some sort of a feels dump, or a bit of therapy. I miss writing. I really do.

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I. On midterms.

Our two-week midterm exam period is finally over.. but we can’t rest just yet: we’ve still got a moot court activity for our International Humanitarian Law subject, and this’ll serve as our midterm exam.

I was originally assigned to be a researcher, but because one of our 3 speakers/mooters had recently been admitted (and as of yesterday, discharged) for a health issue. And he assigned me to take his place – take note that I had already said no to our other speaker when she asked me to take her place earlier this week. To be honest, I don’t want to moot..

..but I guess I have no choice. /shrugs and sighs.

I’ve already prepared my speech, now I just have to get it checked and perhaps add a few more things..

I wonder how I’ll do tomorrow..

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II. On reading old work.

I recently organized some files on my laptop and I decided to take some time to browse through folders which I hadn’t opened in quite a while.

I unearthed some unfinished stories (which have been untouched and unedited since around 2011-2012), and even some chapters from fanfiction that I had written.

In the earlier days of my fangirl self, I was quite active on Rocketboxx, the international fan forum for U-KISS, a K-Pop group that I was really crazy over (and still am quite fond of). In particular, I was active in the Dance Break thread – where a lot of fanfiction stories were written; some even a collaboration between multiple users.

I have always had a love of writing, mainly about things that I love, that I’m passionate about, or even just interest me. I feel that it peaked when I wrote fanfiction – mainly because I would usually write with myself as basis for the lead female character. Hey, a happy fangirl can always dream, right?

I never wrote smut or anything R-rated. The most I had written was what I would consider a PG-13 scenario – I just wanted to try writing something slightly more daring and somehow erotic. It was posted on a K-Pop confessions Tumblog a few years ago, and it got a surprising amount of likes. At least, I felt slightly validated that even if I tried writing in a style that I was foreign too, it turned out palatable for people.

I read through my old writings, and to be honest, I felt a bit melancholy. I felt like I was reading another person’s work. I don’t even remember my writing to be that full of description, so colorful with vivid images; like the South American authors I love so much.

Law school has dulled my writing skills, from a fantastic spectrum of color to text in strict black and white.

And so I feel like I lose a part of myself once again. Continue reading

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