At last, some free time.

I don’t really have a set format or theme for this post.. this will be some sort of a feels dump, or a bit of therapy. I miss writing. I really do.

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I. On midterms.

Our two-week midterm exam period is finally over.. but we can’t rest just yet: we’ve still got a moot court activity for our International Humanitarian Law subject, and this’ll serve as our midterm exam.

I was originally assigned to be a researcher, but because one of our 3 speakers/mooters had recently been admitted (and as of yesterday, discharged) for a health issue. And he assigned me to take his place – take note that I had already said no to our other speaker when she asked me to take her place earlier this week. To be honest, I don’t want to moot..

..but I guess I have no choice. /shrugs and sighs.

I’ve already prepared my speech,Β now I just have to get it checked and perhaps add a few more things..

I wonder how I’ll do tomorrow..

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II. On reading old work.

I recently organized some files on my laptop and I decided to take some time to browse through folders which I hadn’t opened in quite a while.

I unearthed some unfinished stories (which have been untouched and unedited since around 2011-2012), and even some chapters from fanfiction that I had written.

In the earlier days of my fangirl self, I was quite active on Rocketboxx, the international fan forum for U-KISS, a K-Pop group that I was really crazy over (and still am quite fond of). In particular, I was active in the Dance Break thread – where a lot of fanfiction stories were written; some even a collaboration between multiple users.

I have always had a love of writing, mainly about things that I love, that I’m passionate about, or even just interest me. I feel that it peaked when I wrote fanfiction – mainly because I would usually write with myself as basis for the lead female character. Hey, a happy fangirl can always dream, right?

I never wrote smut or anything R-rated. The most I had written was what I would consider a PG-13 scenario – I just wanted to try writing something slightly more daring and somehow erotic. It was posted on a K-Pop confessions Tumblog a few years ago, and it got a surprising amount of likes. At least, I felt slightly validated that even if I tried writing in a style that I was foreign too, it turned out palatable for people.

I read through my old writings, and to be honest, I felt a bit melancholy. I felt like I was reading another person’s work. I don’t even remember my writing to be that full of description, so colorful with vivid images; like the South American authors I love so much.

Law school has dulled my writing skills, from a fantastic spectrum of color to text in strict black and white.

And so I feel like I lose a part of myself once again. Continue reading

Reflecting on school, at the edge of summer.

I know I’ve always complained on how law school is so difficult and how much it saps the life out of me and how much I wish I could just be in a different place than were I am. But then again, looking back on this school year.. it’s been pretty fulfilling.

I think the best part of law school is having a really awesome batch of classmates that I see almost every single day. We’re over 40 guys and girls, from varying backgrounds – there are some who’ve been friends since their undergraduate years, some who’ve been dreaming to get into SU Law, some who, like me, have made the big move to Dumaguete from wherever they’ve come from. There are some who left during the first semester, and a few new faces as we entered the second semester. I may not know the specifics on everyone, but it’s nice to see such a melting pot be able to get along under one roof and learn about the fundamentals and even the intricacies of Philippine Law.

I’m fortunate, I think. Though there are visible groups within our large class which have formed together (like cliques of sorts), I don’t think I’ve ever really identified with any specific one. I’m perfectly content with drifting among the groups and not really pinning myself down in a certain group. I’ve always been that way, honestly – a social butterfly, albeit a quiet one at times. It’s nice to get to know different kinds of people. but of course I miss my friends and family back home. (I seem to have a severe, long-termΒ case of homesickness.)

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Homesick again, among other things.

It feels like ages since I’ve made a proper blog post, but from what happened last night, I think it’s time for a little catharsis.

After yesterday’s class (Wednesday is the most stressful day for us JD-I students, because it’s when we have our most stressful classes – Criminal Law, and Statutory Construction. For StatCon, our section was split into two, and the Section B.. let’s just say we’re not too fond of our professor but we try to stick it out anyway for grades’ sake.), some of my classmates and I headed out to El Amigo since it was a classmate’s birthday (hi, Lala!) and she treated us to drinks. After some of our companions had left, there were only around 6 of us who stayed and chatted. I just pretty much kept quiet and drank quietly while listening to the conversations.

All of a sudden, one of them looked at me and said that I’m not being spontaneous.
Another one chimed in and said that I wasn’t the same Yani that I was before.

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A post-birthday post.

Thank you, LINE Camera. Hohoho.

I originally posted this on Facebook to poke fun at myself as a way of thanking people who left greetings on my timeline or who texted me to say happy birthday.. but I seem to be quite fond of it now. Alas, a rare moment where I actually make an effort to look cute, because I don’t really think I am. ^^;;

So the past Sunday, July 6, was my 23rd birthday. I spent it with family, because how else should it be spent? I’ve been in Dumaguete for a little over a month and I seem to still be adjusting. At least things are a little better now than before. I’ve had the opportunity to hang out with my classmates, especially since Saturday night, July 5, was our SU Law Acquaintance Party. It was Coachella-themed, so of course people tried to dress the part. Alas, I am not quite the bohemian-style kind of person, but well. Effort nonetheless.

Let’s just say I took a lot of photos with classmates– mainly selcas. Woop woop.

..including this one! Did the makeup myself. Then I borrowed a feather earring from my classmate Lala during the night. ^^;;

..including this one! Did the makeup myself. Then I borrowed a feather earring from my classmate Lala during the night. ^^;; Dim photo, oops–

After the acquaintance party, we went to EscaΓ±o, which is kind of the central hub of Dumaguete nightlife, if you’re into bars and casual yet cool places to drink and hang out with friends and maybe people-watch if that’s your sort of thing. It was nice to ring in my July 6 with some of my classmates while at Hayahay. I got a lot of hugs andΒ besos and more hugs from them and one of them even bought me a beer (thanks, Joops!) – I never turn down free drinks, heehee. But I think this one was a little special because, well, it’s practically a gift. I was raised to be grateful for things given to me (though sometimes not as satisfied as I would like to be, but grateful nonetheless), and it’s a nice way to live.

I played beer pong for the very first time. I don’t think I”m very good at it.. I would rather watch and drink. Haha!

I got to meet a lot of new people, thanks to a classmate of mine who actually hails from Manila (Mandaluyong to be a little more exact), who I hung out with Friday night, also atΒ Hayahay. I saw them again Saturday night/Sunday early morning, so it was nice to hang out and take a shot or three. Heh.

It was a night to remember.. albeit some in fragmented memories. I think it’s made me appreciate the kind of people I’ve been hanging out with and been going to class with. They’re pretty awesome.

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Audio

SP – Wednesdays are not “happy hump days”..

..they are hell-day CrimLaw and StatCon days. =________=

I’m supposed to be studying but saljfhalsjghlksghslakg my brain can’t take it. I need a break, so here I am making this wonderfully rambly post. (Is that a real word? I don’t even know anymore.)

I read the case digests for the CrimLaw assigned cases last night before I went to sleep. I didn’t really bother understanding them because my mental capacities were already wonderfully depleted as yesterday we had a quiz in LegalProf as well as in Consti. Wow. I may or may not have been overly *studious* yesterday, which is definitely a world away from my habits in my undergrad years. (Oops. Sorry. When I woke up today I was like– what was i supposed to remember again ;A;

Now excuse me while I attempt to study and read through cases and case digests for Crim later.. I don’t think I can even accommodate anything other than that, if my brain even chooses to accommodate any other legal jargon at all. Eck.

Might post later.

–welp

Now playing: Versailles Philharmonic Quintet – Love Will Be Born Again

Homesick, very homesick.

 

If you are here, I miss you. If you're here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

If you are here, I miss you. If you’re here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

It’s hard for me to be here in Duma.

It’s terribly hard to feel like I belong anywhere. I know I’ve only been here a little over two weeks but.. ah. I still can’t get into the rhythm of things.

I’m slowly adapting to law school and the amount of work that needs to be done.

But other than that I think I’m not doing very well.

After class today some of my classmates and I ate out at Qyosko. We sat at a long table, and naturally either end would have their own conversation.

It’s really hard, being stuck in the middle of a table where everyone speaks a different language and you can barely understand any of them. And if you want to contribute to the conversation, even if you find the words to express them you still just.. can’t. You just can’t.

Awww shoot, now I’m tearing up.. Ugh.

I miss being in Manila. I miss the malls, I miss the familiar places and faces, and I miss my friends. I really miss them. I had already found my place, my comfort zone.. Here, I really feel like an outsider. It’s like when I studied here for 1st year high school.. I never felt like I belonged.

I know a fresh start is supposed to be good.. but it’s horrible, having to start from scratch. It’s as if you need to re-learn every single thing that you were already accustomed to where you came from.

Aaaaand now I’m legit crying. Damn. Haven’t cried like this in a while..

I miss all my friends so much..

I miss Manila so much..

I miss home so much..

I really wish I was back home. My heart really seems to have been left behind there.

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you're here more than once then I really miss you..

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you’re here more than once then I really miss you..

With a new challenge comes new friends.

And that’s quite precisely how I feel about today.

We happen to have Saturday classes from 930am-11am; however we were dismissed early because we were required to attend an orientation for first year Law students at the Moot Court. At first I was a bit iffy because, well.. orientations tend to be boring, to be honest. But at least after a short talk from one of the SU pastors as well as Dr. Aguilan, the guidance counselor of the College of Law, we were able to have lunch. Heehee.

After lunch, we came back to the Moot Court and were asked to arrange our chairs into a circle – or at least, an oblong. There were over 40 of us (!!!) and obviously a circle just wouldn’t work for our class. Then we were asked by Dr. Aguilan to introduce ourselves to the class – it was actually our third time introducing ourselves, because two of our professors had asked us to do the same thing during their classes.

But the difference is, this was definitely more informal in the sense that we didn’t feel as if we were being silently judged by our professors. We felt like we were being more ourselves, more light-hearted, more open to a degree. It was really nice to have an opportunity to let loose for a bit, albeit still in the confines of school. And at least this time, I was able to familiarize myself with my classmates, even if I admit I probably will not remember all their names until a few weeks from now. (Oops.)

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