At last, some free time.

I don’t really have a set format or theme for this post.. this will be some sort of a feels dump, or a bit of therapy. I miss writing. I really do.

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I. On midterms.

Our two-week midterm exam period is finally over.. but we can’t rest just yet: we’ve still got a moot court activity for our International Humanitarian Law subject, and this’ll serve as our midterm exam.

I was originally assigned to be a researcher, but because one of our 3 speakers/mooters had recently been admitted (and as of yesterday, discharged) for a health issue. And he assigned me to take his place – take note that I had already said no to our other speaker when she asked me to take her place earlier this week. To be honest, I don’t want to moot..

..but I guess I have no choice. /shrugs and sighs.

I’ve already prepared my speech, now I just have to get it checked and perhaps add a few more things..

I wonder how I’ll do tomorrow..

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II. On reading old work.

I recently organized some files on my laptop and I decided to take some time to browse through folders which I hadn’t opened in quite a while.

I unearthed some unfinished stories (which have been untouched and unedited since around 2011-2012), and even some chapters from fanfiction that I had written.

In the earlier days of my fangirl self, I was quite active on Rocketboxx, the international fan forum for U-KISS, a K-Pop group that I was really crazy over (and still am quite fond of). In particular, I was active in the Dance Break thread – where a lot of fanfiction stories were written; some even a collaboration between multiple users.

I have always had a love of writing, mainly about things that I love, that I’m passionate about, or even just interest me. I feel that it peaked when I wrote fanfiction – mainly because I would usually write with myself as basis for the lead female character. Hey, a happy fangirl can always dream, right?

I never wrote smut or anything R-rated. The most I had written was what I would consider a PG-13 scenario – I just wanted to try writing something slightly more daring and somehow erotic. It was posted on a K-Pop confessions Tumblog a few years ago, and it got a surprising amount of likes. At least, I felt slightly validated that even if I tried writing in a style that I was foreign too, it turned out palatable for people.

I read through my old writings, and to be honest, I felt a bit melancholy. I felt like I was reading another person’s work. I don’t even remember my writing to be that full of description, so colorful with vivid images; like the South American authors I love so much.

Law school has dulled my writing skills, from a fantastic spectrum of color to text in strict black and white.

And so I feel like I lose a part of myself once again. Continue reading

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22– plus 2: My 24th birthday!

Last Monday, 6 July, was my 24th birthday! To be honest I wasn’t expecting much; it was a school day after all.

I decided that I would celebrate it on Sunday instead with my younger sister and nephew. We had a late lunch at Gabby’s Bistro (which I forgot to take photos of.. sorry!), then we were supposed to have dinner at Shakey’s at Robinson’s Dumaguete.

I was supposed to just have dinner with Lucille, so when I arrived at Rob I texted her and told her I was going to withdraw money first, then go to Booksale (I like a good rummage through their stock). She kept texting me saying there were no seats, just a big table for around 10 people. I told her we could just stay at an end. It was a bit of a hassle, honestly.

..until I found out it wasn’t just her who was there! Papa had arrived as a surprise!

Papa was here! Plus Tito Ed too. (They are kind of a package deal HAHAHAHA)

Papa was here! Plus Tito Ed too. (They are kind of a package deal HAHAHAHA)

(Papa is the one in the checkered shirt. Tito Ed is sitting beside me, haha!)

We had a yummy dinner of pizza and chicken at Shakey’s – it’s one of my absolute favorite places to eat. Their recipe hasn’t really changed in what seems like forever, and I like the consistency of it. Always nice to come back to favorites!

Papa also had a HUGE bag of treats for me – he called it my “birthday loot bag”. You know when you attend a kids’ birthday party at Jollibee/McDo/wherever and you get a little loot bag as a souvenir for attending? I got something like that – but it came in a giant Duty Free shopping bag! He went to the U.S. last month for an alumni gathering and I had asked him to buy me a few things, he added some other nice things as well since it was my birthday after all.

Needless to say I was a very happy kid.

Needless to say I was a very happy kid.

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Trying to recount my second semester, part 2: Consti 2 and thoughts on the future.

I’ve always been thinking about what would happen if I can’t meet the require 2.3 QPA needed to move on to the next level.

I mean.. first sem grades STILL AREN’T COMPLETE (horror of horrors) and my Constitutional Law 1 grade is pretty much on hold – Atty. Sedillo gave me an INC because I wasn’t able to take the final exam (I would have, if the exam schedules weren’t switched by an inconsiderate classmate – yes I am still bitter) since it was on the same day as my flight back to Manila for BarOps. Ms. Belen (the dean’s secretary) told me that I would have to take the final exam during first sem next school year. Which means I pretty much have to study everything Consti 1 again.

Did I mention I currently have Consti 2? Aha! Funny how I was able to take it even without a Consti 1 grade at the moment.

Continue reading

Audio

SP – Wednesdays are not “happy hump days”..

..they are hell-day CrimLaw and StatCon days. =________=

I’m supposed to be studying but saljfhalsjghlksghslakg my brain can’t take it. I need a break, so here I am making this wonderfully rambly post. (Is that a real word? I don’t even know anymore.)

I read the case digests for the CrimLaw assigned cases last night before I went to sleep. I didn’t really bother understanding them because my mental capacities were already wonderfully depleted as yesterday we had a quiz in LegalProf as well as in Consti. Wow. I may or may not have been overly *studious* yesterday, which is definitely a world away from my habits in my undergrad years. (Oops. Sorry. When I woke up today I was like– what was i supposed to remember again ;A;

Now excuse me while I attempt to study and read through cases and case digests for Crim later.. I don’t think I can even accommodate anything other than that, if my brain even chooses to accommodate any other legal jargon at all. Eck.

Might post later.

–welp

Now playing: Versailles Philharmonic Quintet – Love Will Be Born Again

Homesick, very homesick.

 

If you are here, I miss you. If you're here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

If you are here, I miss you. If you’re here more than once, then I really, really miss you.

It’s hard for me to be here in Duma.

It’s terribly hard to feel like I belong anywhere. I know I’ve only been here a little over two weeks but.. ah. I still can’t get into the rhythm of things.

I’m slowly adapting to law school and the amount of work that needs to be done.

But other than that I think I’m not doing very well.

After class today some of my classmates and I ate out at Qyosko. We sat at a long table, and naturally either end would have their own conversation.

It’s really hard, being stuck in the middle of a table where everyone speaks a different language and you can barely understand any of them. And if you want to contribute to the conversation, even if you find the words to express them you still just.. can’t. You just can’t.

Awww shoot, now I’m tearing up.. Ugh.

I miss being in Manila. I miss the malls, I miss the familiar places and faces, and I miss my friends. I really miss them. I had already found my place, my comfort zone.. Here, I really feel like an outsider. It’s like when I studied here for 1st year high school.. I never felt like I belonged.

I know a fresh start is supposed to be good.. but it’s horrible, having to start from scratch. It’s as if you need to re-learn every single thing that you were already accustomed to where you came from.

Aaaaand now I’m legit crying. Damn. Haven’t cried like this in a while..

I miss all my friends so much..

I miss Manila so much..

I miss home so much..

I really wish I was back home. My heart really seems to have been left behind there.

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you're here more than once then I really miss you..

One more. Same as above, if you are here then I miss you. If you’re here more than once then I really miss you..

A bit of free time.

I haven’t really had time to stay up and reflect on my days so far.. and yesterday’s holiday (Philippine Independence Day) was pretty much spent trying to read assigned cases, checking on my cargo to be shipped from Manila, and to go out with my nephew and buy his school supplies.

At least today, I do have some spare time to type something up on my laptop and not just type it on my smartphone.

It has been a little more than roughly a week and a half that I’ve been here in Dumaguete and I admit I’m still not really used to it.. hasn’t really sunk in that I’ll be here a while. Things just really are different here. The atmosphere is just so laid-back, very far from the hustle and bustle of Metro Manila. But then again there is a sense of urgency especially since I’m in law school. That, you can’t just happily coast along. You really have to do your best lest you get left behind.. and my classmates seem to really be good at this. I feel kind of left out because they actually do want to be here. As for me.. I’m more on here because I have a sense of obligation to my dad for this. I don’t really know what I want in life, but I do know that I want to sing. Haha. Well.. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get the hang of this someday.

Continue reading