I don’t really have a set format or theme for this post.. this will be some sort of a feels dump, or a bit of therapy. I miss writing. I really do.
I. On midterms.
Our two-week midterm exam period is finally over.. but we can’t rest just yet: we’ve still got a moot court activity for our International Humanitarian Law subject, and this’ll serve as our midterm exam.
I was originally assigned to be a researcher, but because one of our 3 speakers/mooters had recently been admitted (and as of yesterday, discharged) for a health issue. And he assigned me to take his place – take note that I had already said no to our other speaker when she asked me to take her place earlier this week. To be honest, I don’t want to moot..
..but I guess I have no choice. /shrugs and sighs.
I’ve already prepared my speech, now I just have to get it checked and perhaps add a few more things..
I wonder how I’ll do tomorrow..
II. On reading old work.
I recently organized some files on my laptop and I decided to take some time to browse through folders which I hadn’t opened in quite a while.
I unearthed some unfinished stories (which have been untouched and unedited since around 2011-2012), and even some chapters from fanfiction that I had written.
In the earlier days of my fangirl self, I was quite active on Rocketboxx, the international fan forum for U-KISS, a K-Pop group that I was really crazy over (and still am quite fond of). In particular, I was active in the Dance Break thread – where a lot of fanfiction stories were written; some even a collaboration between multiple users.
I have always had a love of writing, mainly about things that I love, that I’m passionate about, or even just interest me. I feel that it peaked when I wrote fanfiction – mainly because I would usually write with myself as basis for the lead female character. Hey, a happy fangirl can always dream, right?
I never wrote smut or anything R-rated. The most I had written was what I would consider a PG-13 scenario – I just wanted to try writing something slightly more daring and somehow erotic. It was posted on a K-Pop confessions Tumblog a few years ago, and it got a surprising amount of likes. At least, I felt slightly validated that even if I tried writing in a style that I was foreign too, it turned out palatable for people.
I read through my old writings, and to be honest, I felt a bit melancholy. I felt like I was reading another person’s work. I don’t even remember my writing to be that full of description, so colorful with vivid images; like the South American authors I love so much.
Law school has dulled my writing skills, from a fantastic spectrum of color to text in strict black and white.
And so I feel like I lose a part of myself once again.
III. On water baby cravings.
Here in Dumaguete, I live and study a mere walking distance from the sea.
And yet I have not gone to the beach, except for that one time in December last year when I went with my Ate Imee, Ate Jia, and their kids to the beach a few times away for my nephew’s belated birthday celebration.
Almost everyday I smell the sea, the salty scent tickling at my nostrils, almost teasingly. But the sensation is short-lived, as the tricycle/pedicab I’m on speeds away from the coastal road.
I want to swim. I’ll even pass on playing in the sand.
I just want to swim. Even a swimming pool would do.
Maybe because I’m a Cancer; because I’m a water sign. Or maybe because I like the feeling of buoyancy when I float on my back in water.
Maybe it’s the silence when I dive under and paddle around, suspended in water. Or the glistening of sunlight reflected on the surface.
Maybe it’s the rolling of the drops off my skin. Or the splishing, sploshing, splashing when I stir the water with my hands and arms or when I kick to propel myself around.
I really just want to swim..
IV. On Kylie Minogue.
I have always loved Kylie Minogue songs. I don’t think there is any of her songs that I have heard, that I have not liked even a little bit.
The first time I encountered the wonderful Ms. Kylie was when I was channel-surfing as a kid, and I chanced upon MTV. Her music video for Did It Again was playing, and I remember being amazed at how all those four different girls were the same person. I would later find out that the four Kylies represented personas that Kylie herself had undertaken in the course of her career so far.
Quite a number of songs have popped into my head, randomly, as if to give me a little break from whatever I’m thinking. Love At First Sight, Can’t Get You Out Of My Head, In Your Eyes, On A Night Like This.. a little hum or soft singing to myself, and I instantly feel better.
Not to mention Especially For You is a karaoke staple of mine.
When it comes to reinvention and timelessness, I apologize to avid Madonna fans.. but for me, Kylie takes the cake. I also like her music better, and how her concerts seem like one big party where you can be who you want to be. I feel like if I would be able to attend her concert (someday), I would feel completely free.
My respect for the Aussie beauty grew when news of her breast cancer diagnosis broke out. It was wise of her to cancel her tour at the time, but I admired how professional she was when she returned to resume the tour, even altering the routines to fit her state in that medical condition. In addition, her philanthropic work and various advocacies made me admire her so much more. I feel like she does so much good to the world, whether through her work as a musician/artist or through her philanthropy.
But most importantly, she always seems like a ball of sunshine.
As she is only human, she must have had a lot of lows in her life, and in her long career.. but to me, she is sunshine personified. (And lately, I’ve really been needing some sunshine on my life..)
That, I think, is why her music means a lot to me. And of course, why the lovely Miss Kylie means a lot to me.